A Cup of Jodi

Bit by a Cougar

2010-01-08T11:08:00.000-08:00

Hey Jodi,

Im just kinda curious about your opinionon this one. This situation isnt too common so okay here goes...
I fell in love with my best friends mother. We have been dating for 3 years now and no one knows about it. We have gone away on weekend vacations and everything. She get’s me whatever I want and breaks me off what I need too. I want to move in with her and officially make her mine because i honestly love her and i believe she loves me too. What do I do? How do I tell my bff w/o hurting her. O by the way I am a woman as well.

Sincerely,
Bit by a Cougar

Let me start off by saying WOW... Indeed this is no typical situation. The first question that comes to mind is, if the love is so strong, why have you guys been hiding it for three years? Is it purely because you guys dont want your best friend to find out? There is honestly no way out of this without someone getting stung. Does the best friend know that her mother and/or you are even attracted to women? Let alone dating each other for three years? This is hard because on one hand, your and adult and need to do whats best for you, yet this is surely gonna shock your bff's system.

If it were I, id just sit everyone down and tell all truths. Thats all you can do at this point. Tell everyone how you feel and see where that leads you. When in doubt always be honest to yourself and how you feel. That usually gets you the best outcome...

Let me know what happens,
Jodi~

P.S. Dont confuse when i say 'best' outcome with 'desired' outcome. The truth usually exposes everything for what they really are. Dont be surprised if your arent able to keep both relationships as they are now.

10 Grieving Dont's...

2010-01-06T06:26:00.000-08:00

November 13th, 2009 i lost my someone that meant the world me. I lost my Granny or as others knew her Willie Mae Gage. With this major lost in my life came a dark period that most people around me werent use to. Most times when people dont know how to handle situations its very easy for them to just do dumb stuff! LOL!
Dont get me wrong, i love my friends and family but some of the stuff just made me go 'Eh???' So ive composed a list of 10 things to try to watch for when helping someone grieve...

1) How are you?
Asking how a person is RIGHT after someone close to them has passed may be the dumbest thing that you can ask. How do you think a person who has just lost a major part of their life is going to feel? Great? Not quite... its your best bet to assume that the person in grief is feeling the worse pain that they have ever felt (because most likely thats how they feel) and just be there. Dont talk (cause you havent proven yourself capable so far) just be there to listen.

2) Im Sorry
ME TOO!!! I understand that its common to say 'Im sorry' when hearing someone has passed, but before you say it the person in grief has already taken for granted that you didnt want this to happen and that you feel bad, saying 'im sorry' just reminds the grieving person how akward things really are... Say 'My condolences' or something. Idk.

3) Is there anything i can do?
Yes, you can bring back the person i just lost... O you cant do that? Well in that case no... there is nothing you can do. Dont get me wrong, i understand this is coming from the utmost generous part of your heart and if the person was in their right state of mind they would be better able to respond, but because they are NOT in their right state of mind this too just points to a sign thats says 'THIS IS WEIRD'

4) Well at least...
REALLY? AT LEAST WHAT? AT LEAST IM NOT DEAD??? Because depending on who you dealin with they might just want to do that. Do your best not to compare this stituation to ANYTHING! You wont win and will NOT make the person feel better. If they're anything like me it just pisses them off.

5) I remember when my _____ died...
Who cares? Not to be rude, but from the most honest place in a grieveing persons heart, WHO CARES??? Clearly when _____ died in your life you were able to get over it and yadda yadda ya, but this aint that, AT ALL. Even though in your mind the situations may be IDENTICAL to the person in grief, this aint that, and never will be. Comparing grief can backfire on you very badly seeing as everybody grieves differently. Not to slight your experience but just because when yo cousin died you picked flowers and it helped doesnt mean when my mom dies i can pick flowers and itll help... im jsut sayin.

6) Not calling
Depending on who you are in a persons life just you calling and saying 'Im here for you' is enough to give a grieving person the strength to get out of bed. And you not calling can do the exact opposite. i understand it may be hard for you as well and you may not know what to say but a simple 'Im here' will do the trick. When a person loses someone close to them its very important to make then feel like they are not alone. The loss of a close loved one is a very lonely time and close friends and family should make sure to let the pesron know they are loved (without annoying them, lol)

7) Calling too much
Its one thing to call and check up on someone but calling every hour is ridiculous. Just plain annoying. Like anyone else a grieving person needs time to themselves to sort out their thoughts and feelings. She/.he cant do that if their phone is ringing off the hook. Chill out, they know you care.

8) Calling and saying nothing
If you have nothing to say, just text hi... Dont call and breath, its annoying... in any situation...

9) Inviting yourself over
Even though in your mind the person doesnt need to be alone or needs to be consoled, if you dont know dont act. If its rude to just drop by on a regular basis what makes you think ots ok just because ____ passed? Guess what? ITS NOT!

10) Why didnt you...
Ask a person why they didnt call you and tell that their loved one passed or calling and asking why they didnt 'invite' you to the funeral is just plain stupid. A) the person isnt in their right mind or emotional state. B) the funeral isnt a club, it a place to show respects. Most of the person is too busy trying to get themselves together for the funeral. C) THIS AINT ABOUT YOU!!! Period.

These are just tips to consider. None of this is fact or researched, just some things to keep in mind in case you ever have to run into this situation.

Jodi~

Soul Star Speaks Out

2010-01-03T14:08:00.000-08:00

Hey, hey, hey!

If you wanna catch up on random conversation between Jodi and SoulStar or if you just need a really good random laugh from dry humor and awesome pics, check out soulstarspeaks.tumblr.com Im sure you wont be disappointed.

Jodi~

A Fresh Cup of Jodi

2010-01-03T12:57:00.003-08:00

Its a new, yall got new issues and im here to help. Ive recently been MIA but i apologize and im bizack and better. So keep checking daily for new posts from you and others that are gonna give that bost you need to your day!

Jodi~

How do i manage?

2009-11-27T15:08:00.000-08:00

Hello Jodi,

I am one of the youngest supervisors at my job. I also happen to be a black female. With this being said i am very cautious about what i do and how i present myself. The team that im over preforms very well, all except one. You guessed the only black woman on my team. She also happens to be ten years my senior. She is not computer literate, she cant spell (despite spell check) and she presents herself in an unprofessional manner, which in turn makes me look bad.
Now on one hand as her supervisor, i want her to get it together immediately. I cant believe she isnt improving despite multiple conversations about her preformance. I nor the company have any more time to tolerate her incompitance, she is costing us all money and now I am being approached about her by my superiors.
On the other hand, sister girl is a single mother of two kids and struggeling to make ends meet. I knwo shes not improving because she cant. The software is too advance and due to previous drug use and lack of education its hard for her to catch up. As a black woman i want to help her best i can but i dont know what to do. I cant help her at work and i cant help her at home with the sofftware. Ive tried to coach her about her attitude and apperance but she doesnt take it from a receptive stand point because of my age.
I dont know what to do. By no means do i want to put my job in jeopardy because of her, but i dont want her to loose hers either, especially with two kids.

Trying to manage.

Hey Trying to Manage,

Ok so first lets evaluate whether or not she would risk her job to help you keep yours-
Ok, now that we see that she wouldnt the only thing you can do is soften the blow. Its nobel that you wanna help a sista out but reality is reality. if she is not willing to conform to the guidelines of her job description then she need to find another job. Since you are the helpful person that you are, i would say talk to her one last time and explain to her that you are only trying to help her keep her job, if she still refuses then there is nothing you can do. Look and see if there is a department that may hold less responsiblity for her and maybe see if she could get transfered to that department. If not see if you can help her find another job and offer to be a reference for her. She may have two kids but shes grown and need to take responsibility for her actions. Also you have to look out for yourself, i dont think this lady is gonna let you move in wiht her if you get put out after you loose your job over her.

Let me know what happens,
Jodi~

The ReboundE

2009-11-27T13:53:00.000-08:00

Sup Jodi,

Ok so i was friends with this girl all throughout her recent relationship that was just terrible. She was always calling me telling me about how terrible dude was and how terrible he treated her. So me being the nice cool nigga i am i got her back, im givin her advice, talkin to her when her man aint and everything. So her and dude finally break up and she tells me she got feelings for me but she doesnt wanna get in a relationship cause her head is all fucked up right now. So i can get with that and im like cool, its whateva. I was glad she had enough sense to not go from him to me... So a month later right she texts me like i wanna be with you and im ready for a relationship blah blah blah. So im like ok, lets see what this be like. Like 2 weeks later here she comes tellin me maybe this was a mistake and dude wants to be better and yadda yadda yadda. SO im like aight but fuck u then, dont come crawlin back to me cause u on bullshit. So now i don hurt her feelings and she want a nigga back. So today she hit me up on some 'im sorry it was me' type shit. So i tells her well now i gotta think about it cause my head fucked up now. Hell she said this before, ya dig? Now she mad... SHE MAD. So i dont know Jodi. I mean i like her but she on bull ya know? WWJD? (what would Jodi do)? LOL

The ReboundE

Sup ReboundE.

Umm from the sounds of things it looks like youre asking if you should be with her. The answer to that is not now. I dont know the girl but i do know shes confused and there is too much room for you to get hurt. Let her finish playing around with her ex (whom she still has feelings for despite what she says) and do you for a while. Hold off on chatting with her too for a while, give her some alone time to reflect on herself. She cant even decide whether or not she wants to drop that zero and get with a hero (ive always wanted a reason to say that so thank you) so do you really wanna be with her? As a matter of fact what is that you like about her? You may find out that you dont even like her like that and you just thought you did.. Think about that some and see what you come up with.

Let me know what happens,
Jodi~

Wont be his lover but im his friend?

2009-11-27T11:23:00.000-08:00

Dear Jodi,

My ex boyfriend and I are still good friends but i think its only because we are so comfortable with each other we dont want to break totally away from each other. Nothing has change about him since we broke up, as a matter of fact he got worse... BUT i find myself engaging in late night convos with him and wanting him to cuddle with me. Also he know my rule about no sex unless we are in a relationship but he still doesnt care. He wants what he wants and thats it. So i feel like he just talks to me to see if ill have sex with him and thats not cool. He doesnt woo me anymore or try to impress me, nothing. Even our conversations are getting dull. Idk i want us to remain friends but i know i shouldnt. Do i have to stop being his friends and if so how do i stop?

Friends Forever? lol

LOL Friends Forever?

Even you had to laugh at that... Ok so i tend to not like to answer questions that i know the person already knows the answer but you saved urself by asking the second question of 'How do i stop?'
Before i aswer how do you stop i want to make sure you understand WHY it is you have no other choice but to pull away from this selfish bastard. First you admit that the main reason yall still friends is because you single and just use to his ignorance... Remember you said 'i think its only because we are so comfortable with each other we dont want to break totally away from each other.' Yea, translation:'Im single and i have nothing to occupy my time' Find a good book and go sat down somewhere honey. THEN you admitted that not only has he not changed any for the better, he has gotten worse... Like really? Listen to urself sweety. Then he dont woo you no more, take you out nothing... SO in counclusion he dont like you... AT ALL. Cause i have friends that'll at least take a sista to burger king so i can have something my way. Dang! SO to answer your first question (that you already know the answer too) Let his ass go... Immediately. He aint sh!t and aint tryna be cause ur not demanding him to be.
Now 'How to stop being his comfort zone- I mean friend' you ask? Well you have to commit to it.
First: delete his number, even though i know uve memorized it, delete it.
Two: call him (b4 u delete the number) and explain to him that you guys are not in a relationship and you dont wanna give up the nootch, therefore you will not and if thats all he wants he can go somewhere else.
-You need to say whats on yo mind, EVERYTHING worse case senario, he get mad and dont call u no more, which is what u need!
Three: understand that you deserve more than what you have and do something about it.
-Get you a friend, put yo freeak 'em dress on and go have some fun, get some attention from someone that at least has enough sense not to tell you he wanna bone right off the bat! Jeeze!
Four: Whenever you feel like calling him punch urself in the eye... Seriously. Two results, u gon stop wantin to call him, or u gon call him and he gon come over but not want you no more cause you got a big stupid black eye. Either way i get what i want :-)

Let me know what happens,
Jodi~

P.S. Have you seen 'He's not that into you'? If not its a must see. Females need to here they are not the exception so even if they are, they can apprieciate it more.

My Apologies

2009-11-27T10:06:00.000-08:00

Due to family circumstances and the passing of my granny i have negelected my responsibilty to my blog. Have no fear new posts, new questions and awesome answers are on the way!

~Jodi

Pops for Champagne and The Shrine

2009-10-22T10:38:00.000-07:00

Hey ppls,

I checked out 'Pops for Champagne' and 'The Shrine' last night for my besties bday.

'Pops for Champagne' is the cutest little champagne bar. The waiter was just as cute too. He was this funky old man with a bow-tie. There is a bar in the middle and booths all around. There is also a chance to catch some live jazz too. The place is really cool and quaint and i suggest that everybody check it out. The website is http://www.popsforchampagne.com/ and im sure going to go visit again sometime.

The Shrine is a nice lil spot to boogie and drink. Its not too small and not too big and well kept. Not once was i scared that i was going to get shot, slapped or ran over. It kinda reminda me of a 'darker' Funky Buddah lounge. One thing that impressed me was at one point i heard a security guy tell a girl to put her shoes back on, lol. All in all as far as clubs go it was a cool spot. The website is http://www.theshrinechicago.com/ and id check it out if you're still into clubs.

Jodi~

I.C.E. theaters a.k.a. 87th

2009-10-22T09:57:00.000-07:00

Smh... Where to start...

So Sunday my best friend and i decided to go to see 'Couples Retreat'. We'd been trying to go see it all weekend. We usually go to the AMC in river east but because she has her car we decided to go to the movies on 87th for the free parking, but boy did we pay... Having been already trained by the AMC downtown, we promptly arrived 20min early because the movie was recently released and we were sure there would some type of crowd... We walk in to purchase our tickets from the ticket booth that is literally about a foot away from the main entrance and we are greeted by one of the most unhappiest women known to man.
From there we went to the consetion stand to order TWO items... 'The BIGGEST coke you have and a box of raisinettes.' We recieved a box of raisinettes and a smile, therefore we had to re-order the coke which was the entire reason for us even going to the stand...
So now we go to the theater, we hand the tickets to the man and he say 'O the theater's not ready yet'... It was 7pm and the movie started at 7:20! So we took this oppurtunity to 'people watch' and boy did we see... First we saw the security 'check' the womens purses as they went into the theaters... like really 87th? Has it been that bad??? Then we saw some of the most hot mess wearin ppl that have ever crossed state lines. It was so bad until at one point i looked over at my dear bff and her mouth was WIDE open in shock, LOL. I wish i would have taken a pic of that!!! So finally around 7:15 the theater is ready, we walk in and us and two other ppl were there, THATS IT!!! THEN we sat there for about ten minutes (after 7:20 which was when the movie was suppose to start) in silence... nothing on the screen AT ALL! No music, mo commercials, no nothing! So finally around 7:40ish the first commericial comes and it is 4 black teens on a bus stop talking about sex and aids... i just shook my head. That would have never flew downtown! So the movie starts and its still us 4 in the theater... as the movie progress about 3 more couples came in, smh. I wont even start about CP time. It finally dawned on us that all the black people went to see 'Black Dynamite' and could have cared less about this VInce Vaughn movie... We know next time though... free parking at 87th aint so free!!!

Just as empty as ever 10min AFTER the movie was suppose to start...

Just relaxin with her feet up cause it aint like she could accidentally kick anyone...

Screen just as blank as ever!!! Post time to start!

My house can't be your home... I dont think...

2009-10-08T12:33:00.000-07:00

Hey Jodi,

Ok so im married with 3 kids and i am happy. I love my family and wouldnt trade them for anything in the world. But i am a young father, and our 10yr anniversary is coming up. Ive never cheated on her (during our marriage) and i dont plan on it. Now i say all this not say this: My ex has fell on hard times and needs a place to live. Although we have remained friends throughout the years, the sexual attration betweens us is undeniable. Whenever i havent found an excuse not to see the ex and we do hang out, i always have to cut it short so we dont end up admiring the ceiling fan, nah mean Jodi? Now on the one hand she is me friend that i dont care about and i wouldnt want anyone living on the street that didnt have to. On the other hand she'd be too close, and i know she still has feelings for me and my penis still has feelings for her vajayjay (as you ladies call it now) and i dont know how thats gonna work... Also my wife doesnt know that we ever hooked up. So what should i do Jodi? Would you let your ex move in with you and your husband? Help me out here!

-dont wanna sex the ex

HA! Ur funny 'dont wanna sex the ex',

Whenever a man goes on like you just did in the begining that means not only have you thought about sexing the ex, your penis is pretty pissed at you that you are having second thoughts! LOL! Ok so you and your ex are homies and she needs a place to live, so ironically this woman that still has feelings for you looked towards YOU. Does she have any family she could stay with? Friends? Co-workers? Strangers? I mean hell... Why would she not exhaust every option before you anyways? If i was her i wouldnt wanna see you all hugged up with the wifey and the kiddies with the big white picket fence, naw ill pass. I would first see (and make sure) she has no other options... Then if she has no other options I would see if any of your friends could house her... Its really not a good look to have the ex in the house with the fam, but if push comes to shove you have to do what you have to do. Now here is the elephant in the room, ur wife dont care if she stays with you??? Even if she dont know yall use to freak she has a nootch! Like dang dude, you got it like that? Maybe you need to givin me advice, ya dig? Lol. Putting that aside, i would say avoid it at ALL cost. Its something smelling fishy to me about this situation and you got too much to loose to get caught up. Smell me?

And as for if i would let my ex move in with me and the hubby, i doubt the man i marry would even let that go down, at least without a fight... literally...

Let me know what happens,
Jodi~

Why its hard NOT to love my Chi-town peeps...

2009-10-01T19:08:00.000-07:00

If you are in range of this camera and slippin guess whats gon happen:

heres another view:

Then i see her sister with these hot pants on:

and yes i got anther view for you:

All this fashion can make anyone tired right:

Bet you wanted another view:

But this outfit wakes things up, eh?

These hips dont lie.. (but the should):

Recreation pants anyone?

Somebody ran out of the Jergens...

The 6 flags man got lost downtown chicago?

Apparently this woman is just as famous as the 6 flags guy:

...and dressing like that in the grocery store with these shoes, she should be:

Speaking of hot footwear rubber bands are the thing now...:

AND THE WORLDS CRUSTIEST FOOT GOES TO...:

*sigh* whats wrong with this photo:

This is just unexplainable:

Long jheri dont care?

...Just thought yall would enjoy... more comin soon!

...In the eye of the beholder

2009-09-30T08:36:00.000-07:00

In a random act of boredom (and yes i was at work... feel free to take this moment to judge...) i typed in the word 'beauty' in google images to see what popped up... And no, i wasnt amazed... I was rather dishaertened by my random discovery. I went 10pgs threw and out of 10pgs (20 images on each) there were 8 and a possible black images... EIGHT! In mathmatical terms on average out of 200 'beautiful' things about 8 of them are 'black'... the ratio of black beauty to actual beauty is 2:50... thats sicking and totally untrue. And lets not even start talking about the fact that there wasnt anything over a size 1 to be seen throughout these 'beauty' pics... What if i didnt have a functional brain and googled beauty so i can see what i needed to make myself 'beautiful'? Id be somewhere passed out with throw-up on my breath and bleach all over me, smh. There was only one really beautiful picture to me of a beautiful dark skinned woman with beautiful skin... And not being bias but i think out of all the pictures depicted by google, i was most impressed by this one. Now other pictures that popped up that i am expected to be impressed by looked like this: NOW... On top of the fact that i dont plan on going anywhere looking like this, SHE HAS TERRIBLE SKIN! Like... really? Idk... these things struck me as odd... Im not saying google thinks these things are true, but this peeked my intrest because as far as we love to believe we have come beauty, as well as most other things dwells in the eye of the beholder. Guess who the beholder is? Smh Idk i get sensitive about how beautiful yet unacknowledged my black is. And ppl wonder how Michael lost his mind...

What really Grinds my Gears...

2009-09-29T14:15:00.000-07:00

Here are a few things that really Grind my Gears:

1) Mean old ppl
-They don't have that long left to be that mean
2) Saggy jeans
-Like why? Its not '93 and you're not in jail.. let it go...
3) Cheap men
-Don't ask to be treated like the man if you cant provide like one
4) Dirty Nails
-*sigh* as accessible as water is there is no excuse... you can tear off a piece of paper... use ya bus card, something! JEEZE!
5) Mean ugly ppl
-Strike one is you're ugly... Why give me another reason to not like you???
6) Spam
-i shouldn't need to explain...
7) Ridiculously chipper ppl
-No one is that happy all the time, therefor i have no choice but to believe that you are a serial killer...
8) The Blueprint 3
-Yea i said it... and ill say it again! I am a die hard Hova fan but the truth is the truth... The singles are the hottest songs on the CD... the rest of it sounds like Timbaland and Kanye having a "who's beat is better" contest... Jay-Z is Jay-Z cause he got his own swag that doesn't need justification nor attention brought to it... He spent the entire CD talkin about himself, smh
9) Ppl who are still talking about the Kanye-Taylor fiasco
-I didn't know who she was until it happen... its over... neither of them have helped me pay a bill so ultimately i don't care...
10) American Dad
-Its a waste of crayons... Its not funny and pretentious...
11) Nosey ppl
-Why does the fact that you have no business lead to you leaning in on mine??? I have a remedy though, if catch ya being nosey imma just talking about something real uncomfortable or make an obscene gesture... We'll see how often you dip in my business then...
12) Plus size floral print anything
-Its like wearing a sign that says i don't have control over anything... including what i wear...
13) Stupid ppl
-The don't deserve to be liked...
14) Muffin tops
-C'mon now! YOU FEEL THAT HANGIN OUT! HELL! DON'T NOBODY WANNA SEE THAT! HMPH!
15) White ppl with dreds
-Like why? What is the reason? To get back to their roots? Because their hair is so hard to manage? smh
16) Multi-colored weaves
-Now one is born with green, blue, pink or purple hair. Its like wearing a sign that says 'No i don't want a job' or 'Yes, my name is in fact Bonqueesha' or 'HOW'D YOU KNOW I HAD THREE KIDS BEFORE I WAS 18???'
17) High school *scratch that* All kids...
-I just don't like 'em
18) Macy Gray's voice
-Its just unnecessary...
19) Ppl who try to fit in
-Be yourself and maybe ill acknowledge your existence
20) Flooding pants
-Just looking at someone else flooding makes me uncomfortable...
21) Big ol' men holding iPod mini's
-Just looks awkward
22) Bobby Brown's mouth
-Its just so much wrong with it... It makes me frown
23) Extravagant birthday parties for one year olds
-Have you ever heard someone say 'Man my 1st birthday party was the BOMB! It changed my life!'
24) Over dressed pets
-Where are they going and what are you trying to prove???
25) Bad breath
-If you don't want me to fart in the middle of a conversation than neither do i, whether it comes from your tongue or your butt...

Gotta get it right...

2009-09-24T10:35:00.000-07:00

Sup Jodi,

Ok, so this question may seem obvious but its not to me... Lately i just cant get hard when my woman touches me, BUT lately when ive been workin out and my trainer walks in the room, he makes me hard. But all this is recent... and i dont think im gay but now i just dont know...

CantGetRight

Hey CantGetRight...

Um wow... i must say that i had to read this twice because the first time i read this i felt like we both knew the answer... BUT i need a couple of answers answered before i can get a FULL grasp of the situation. How long have you been with your woman? Have you ever been with a man? And is this the only man that gets you hard like that? Also whats going on in your relationship with your woman? Are thing great? Boring? or Terrible? This may have a lot to do with it. And in fact you may not be gay. You may be at the bi-curious stage in your life. Who knows, if youve never done anything with a man, u might try it and hate it...
Before you do anything drastic like going forth and actually cheating on your lady explore and see if your relationship is worth being salvagable. Dont force anything though, if another man is getting you hard as chinese algebra than maybe you are gay, or bi, or whatever. And if you are, who cares? You be you and do what you need to do. No point in walking around life with your head down (pun intended) just to make somebody else happy...

Try and answer these questions for me and Let me know what happens,
Jodi~

Complicated Solo

2009-09-21T15:06:00.000-07:00

I know that my unique notes
aren’t always pleasing to your ear
Or that the song that im singing
may not be the one you want to hear
its like I deceive you with the melody
and woo you in
but then I don’t letcha touch the body
cause that’s a sin
but still your aroused by my crescendo
that pulls you in with magnetic force
then mesmerized by the pout in my decrescendo
and the mystery behind my voice
still the sound of my legato
doesn’t put you at ease
because id rather sing a solo
then compromise my verse
so you curse my composer
cause this song just isn’t fair
you wanna get so much closer
but im just not there
so you turn the chick in the choir
who sings for the community
even though with her songs there is no fire
she is who you want her to be
so im stuck here singing acoustic
still solo with so much soul
and you realize these words, you need it
but you theyre just too deep for you
so in the end its not the songstress
who isn’t playing her tune right
its him with the unplugged headphones
who only pretends to be my brotha to the night

Jodi~

Emergency?

2009-09-21T15:02:00.000-07:00

why the emergency
to emerge in me
urgently
before certainly
knowing me
not just ‘insert here’ and see
not just kneading me
with your foolery
beware my insecurties
for they double as security
to guard from he
who cant really see
me…
like why.
cant.
we.
slow.
dooooooooown?
and get back to the conversation
that suffered elimination
yet was filled with so much information
vital for future relations
if any
cause i fear youve been with many
that is-
cause you wont even stop to
smell the damn rose
and who knows
if ur cons weigh than ur pro’s
i suppose?
but now you’ll never know
cause uve tainted my image of you
its true
and there is nothing you can do
to get back in my good grace
all because you could pump the brakes
on this major emergency
to emerge in me
urgently
without sense of the real me

Jodi~

Good Dick, Bad Dick, Her Dick, Your Dick?

2009-09-20T19:05:00.000-07:00

Dear Jodi,

This isnt really and 'advice' question but i would like to your opinion none the less. Would you prefer "good dick" thats shared or "bad dick" thats yours? Personally id rather be celabate for the rest of my life then put up with bullshit, when did sharing second place become okay? I think this is a disgusting problem amongst black women and i just wanted to know how you felt.

Anonymous

Wow!

Well unfortunately for us selfish women this is becoming quite the problem. Me, myself, personally feels like any "dick" thats attached to a man that loves me, treats me right, got a job, and aint gon' cheat cant be all bad... na' mean? And any "dick" that at completely yours cant be that all that good now can it??? But you know what, i could be wrong (not likely but...) let me know what you think out there ppl.

Jodi~

Threesome, Cheatsome

2009-09-20T11:39:00.000-07:00

Hey Jodi Girl!

My boyfriend and i have been together for a year. We are happy but i want to cheat... I want to be with a woman... Should i ask him to join?

What do you think,

Threesome or Cheat?

Hey Threesome or Cheat!

A couple of questions come to mind before ansering this. Does your boytoy of a year know that you are interested in woman as well? Also this woman that you would like to bring into the relationship, is she someone you know or a random girl? Before cheating i would mos def ask him what his fantasy is. Hint to him that you are open to the idea of another woman and see where it goes from there. If he does end up open to the idea of a threesome then HURRAY! You get to have ur cake and eat it too... Now after finding out his fantasies ti ends up that he is anti-threesome then comes the time for self reflection. How bad do you really want to be with another woman? Also how in love with your boyfriend are you? If this urge of your could potentially harm your relationship would you still go after it? I say if you have a good thing dont risk it... Talk with him about his fantasies and see where that leads and let him know about yours as well. Maybe this will uncover some extra spice. If another woman isnt apart of his plan and you still desire to be with one, consider asking him for a break, that way whatever happens on break, stays on break. Avoiding cheating as much as possible... Men as more sensitive as they let on to be.

Hope you get both of your fantasies fufilled...

Let me know what happens,

Jodi~

Unfortunate or Funny, U be the judge

2009-09-18T18:16:00.000-07:00

Maybe sleeping on the train is how she ended up like this... smh..

Ballet career down the tube...

Cutting loose

2009-09-18T14:46:00.000-07:00

Dear Jodi,
How can you let some one go If they don’t want to let go ?

Unknown

Hey Unknown,

This is a hard question to answer only because its so easy. Basically you just asked me 'How do not wear that purple shirt even though it wants to be worn?' Its easy, KEEP IT IN THE CLOSET! Or in other words 'How do i say NO?' is what youre asking me. Its quite simple *ahem* No, NO, NOOOooooOOOOO... Im a professional at saying it. If you are uncomfortable in a situation and want to let it go why do YOU care what THEY want??? THEY are the reason YOU wanna let go in the first place right? Forget them!!! Be selfish for once! Stop thinking about what THEY want and live for YOU. In the end the person you ultimately have to live for is you so why not make YOU happy as much as possible???
Now your assignment is to figure out whether or not you really wanna let go... Because the more you want to let go, the easier it is too..

Let me know what happens,
Jodi~

3yrs and Counting?

2009-09-18T13:20:00.000-07:00

Hi Jodi:
My name is _, and I've been n a monogamous relationship (on my part) for close to 3 years now. I'm starting to feel as though I want out, due to the way things have been happening. Such as me having to right down bad situations when they happen and I'm noticing that they ar happening more frequently. I feel as though I'm suppose to be the girlfriend tht just says yes to everything and tht I'm supose to sit at home and knit while he's out having fun and fucking? When I see him now I start to question myself as to y am I still here? Please Jodi.. What shall I do?

3yrs and Counting...
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Hey 3yrs and Counting
Sooooooo first i want you to re-read what you wrote and see if you can point out any problems yourself... No? You cant? Well lets disect the severe issues here one by one. You start of by saying 'monogamous (on my part)'... Do you really feel like you are the only one committed to this relationship? Because if so we should stop right here. The bottom line is if you know he is cheating on you and you are staying with him then you are doing the right thing. Because if you dont think you are worth a better man, than you're probably not... Save the good ones for me honey! O, and dont think just because you havent 'caught him red handed' that you dont 'know'... When you call him and he's out with his friends and he cant pick up, you 'know' he's cheating... When he has girl-friends that he met after you guys got together that you barely know, you 'know' he's cheating... Honey you're a woman so when you cant sleep at night or you cant focus at work because you're worried about him, you 'know' he's cheating... O and as for you writing down ALL the bad situations thats reason enough to cut him loose... You aint heard??? You can do bad all by yourself!!! If imma be writing down bad situations its gonna be staring and co-staring ME, thats it! Now it aint nothin wrong with sitting at home and knitting, but if that aint what you wanna do then dont! You settle for waiting your whole life on a man you just might end never living. Honey if when you look at him you think to yourself 'y am i still here' then dont be... You said you're 'starting' to feel as though you want out, but by the time you actually verbalize that you've been feeling that way, you've actually been feeling that way for a while... Usually i would say for you to way the good and the bad of the relationship and see if its something worth fighting for, BUT you've already got your naughty list and no nice list. Take a break... see how you both feel without each other for a while, this may work out for the best. You may find out you like it like that...
My honest opinion is that this 'relationship' has run its course. Consider changing your name from '3yrs and Counting' to 'Suddenly Single'

Let me know what happens,
Jodi~

Dear Jodi

2009-09-18T10:50:00.000-07:00

For questions that you want answered please feel free to email me at ACupofJodi@yahoo.com or tweet me your questions at www.twitter.com/ACupofJodi. All persons shall remain anonymous and I promise to get back to you as soon as possible.

Jodi~

Looking at the other side

2009-09-18T10:10:00.000-07:00

In a conversation about bums with friends, one of my friends shared her dismay with a certain bum she ran across a few weeks ago...

Her: So a couple of my friends came to visit a few weeks ago and while walking around downtown we came a cross a bum that was *insert obscene hand gesture*

Me: He was masterbating???

Her: Yes!!!!! Omg it was sooooo nasty, like how rude

Other friend: I cant believe he was doing that!!!!

Me: In his defense it is hard to find a safe place to masterbate these days… Poor man just happen to have been horny when yall walked by… *smh*

Both: *faces in total shock*

Me: WHAT???

Honestly, was i so wrong to look at it form the bums point of view???